In my head...

A year ago, I returned to work on a part time basis.  I worked 3 days a week.  It was awesome!  I can't explain how much I loved working part time.  Sure, the work days were rushed, but there were 2 extra days a week to recover and to complete the household chores.  Life was good.  Time to relax and to really spend quality time with the kids was aplenty.  But, my imminent return to full time hours loomed and I knew working downtown would be very trying with full time hours.  I started looking into ways to transfer to an office closer to home.  Just as my qualifications were completed, an opportunity came up.  I got a transfer to the Oshawa office in August 2012.  I love the work I am doing right now, but we are way understaffed and most of the excess work falls to me.  I may have cut my commute by over an hour a day, but I was losing that time in unpaid overtime.  Just before winter break, I had a slight mental break down, and I realized I was far more stressed than I ever realized.  And I realized I hate my current work-life balance.  Then the Newtown shootings happened, and all I wanted was to hug my children close all the time.  Then an acquaintance faced an unspeakable lose - the unexpected death of a child, Braydon's age.  That made me realize, you have no idea what any day will bring, so make the most of every single day.

Something to know about me, I can be a hypochondriac.  I can't google symptoms, ever, because when Dr. google says I have a fatal disease, I can't handle it.  The thought of natural disasters really freaks me out.  I am scared of global warming, every time an atypical natural disaster occurs, I get stomach aches.  When bad things happen to others, I worry they will h
appen to me, and to my family.  So, it is probably safe to say I have anxiety issues as well.

Strangely, I consider myself an optimist.  I like to be happy, I try hard to look on the bright side, I try to see the good in every situation. Lately, this has been a challenge.

I briefly started a gratitude journal last year.  I am going to bring that back this week - to help me focus on all the good things in life.  Because despite my stress and worries, I know exactly how blessed and lucky I really am.

So step one in my effort to achieve mental wellness, is get out of my head and away from my worries, and focus on all the good things!  Bring on the gratitude!